ConFuse!!!

As I woke up

I can' see the sun clearly...

Can't define the morning and the dawn!

Something inside of me feels that I am not sure

what it is.

I thought it is just a craving of fun or happiness,

A craving of fulfilling something, or craving for an excitement.

I am not really sure...

But I think I can balance the nature of confusion!!!

---Happiness, enjoyment and fulfillment

that is what i'm feeling today...

---after the event happen in our university, it's been a great 

realization in life that it's been a long time that i never been a 

child that could run away and chase my playmates.

I wish that it could back in time.

my new light

oh yeah!!!!
newly installed light in our room...
hahahaha... will you look at that!!!!
...i do really love it while fixing that.
hey!! having the bond we have by my father
and having a little bit knowledge in electricity
of course with the help of my father!!!


hey another thing... this scene happened before christmas and
I think the gap between my father and me is filled with
great bond and great closeness...
I can't believe that he is now my adviser when
it comes to love part!!!! hey I'm not a child anymore and I should
let him know what I'am fe

STAR TIME!!!

yeAH!!!!

this is my first time to draw something in my flesh...

hahahaha... this is my new year resolution!!!!

to be myself... well this is the start of it but it will only last 2 wks!!!

and I'm glad to try this...

it's been a long time that I crave to have a "henna Tattoo"

and here it is... hey it doesn't men that I'm a bad girl or something

I just wanted to be myself and try to mark my new "ME"

...I will not listen to any bad comments about me and try to change
something about me because they said so.

But I will try to change what I really want and crave for!!!!

SADNESS AND LONELINESS

I know i'm clumsy sometimes,

I know I've been hurting someone,

I know I've been numb and i don't know that i've been frank sometimes

But as you can see in me is not what i really am...

you may think that i'am strong

but it is totally different, I'm a child that can cry

any time you poked me... I'am a child that hum like a new born baby

People who are numb and trying to be strong

are so like me...

STRONG inside CLUMSY inside!!!!

I knew I can get over with this yet It will remain in my stupid

mind and heart. It will keep rewinding in my past

although I do have an inspirition to treasure, I think it wasn't enough

to conquer my problems yet.

you've been part of me...

I know there are so much challenge we've faced... so much problem we've solved
still we made it to be happy... but time changed me, and you didn't change a bit
I doubted my feelings but I mostly doubt your love.
that is why i made a decision.
A decision that may hurt you and hurt me, I know it was not simple
to let go a person whose been there for you when you're alone,
deppressed, stressed and in need. But I have to focused...
I've been so focused to you that I've forgot to love myself,
I also forgot to be strong, independent lady as I am before.

So please understand me... I know it's hard and I know I'm wrong in a way I didn't even think your feelings but I am sure that we can love ourselves more by doing this and if the time comes... our love can be reunite again and no one can seperate us.